what is the reason?

When we are in the dark, when something makes us confused, sad, lost and our mind takes us to the worst places, as a first action we can take a deep breath, a shower, go for a walk and take a deep breath again.

These moments, makes us see the worst forecasts for our future, because we are constantly asking the wrong questions. We ask: why me? Why is this happening to me? Again? What am I supposed to do? What is wrong with me? Who is to blame? What is behind all this? Then our minds go find the answers, it goes after all the bad records to answer our bad questions.

If we ask: why is this good? In which aspect of my life can this be good? What opportunities does this situation brings to me? Where does it create space?

Then we create better answers, we change our perspective, we tell a better story to ourself, we see a better story for ourself.

Yes everything happens for a reason but we will not always know what that reason is, instead of trying to find the reason we can try to see what the situation is showing to us, what it brings, what opportunities open up, and see light in the end of the tunel.

It is so much more fun to choose to see the light in the end of the tunel, it is so much more fun to choose to be at peace, it is so much more fun to choose to be in joy and enjoy :)

Because life is about living, is about loving, is about opening up, is about riding waves for the thrill of it {and not to smooth out the ocean} ;)


Don’t hold on, not even for a second

Let Go

Holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you anymore, that even tho you wanted it so bad to work out it is not working out right now, this is stressfull, holding on makes your hole body go stiff. The more you hold on the less you move on.

Holding on brings attachment, suffering, a feeling of dependency.

Letting go brings, hope, openess, light, a feeling of freedom. letting go makes your body relax. So letting go is necessary. Very easy to say, not so easy to put into practice.

Letting go is setting yourself and the other (person, things or situation) free, which is definately what we all want to be, free.

I have been learning/practicing to let go and I found that you need to nourish a few things within you:

  • {Faith} Faith that it will be ok, faith in yourself, faith that what is going come out of it is good, faith that letting go is the best thing to do.
  • {Love} Love for yourself and the other, trusting that love never truly leaves, understanding that you are always loved  and everyone is deserving of love. You let go because you love, because you love yourself and the other.
  • {Courage} The word courage means acting with your heart. courage to face with your heart what is to come, courage to truly let go, courage to move forward.

The first step is to accept, by accepting something you are already loosing up your fist. Then letting go starts, finger by finger…. I have been telling myself that it is ok to take time, and it is. Somethings are easier to let go than others and the hardest ones are where we learn a lot about ourselfes.

So I am learning a lot about myself lately, and this quote is starting to have more and more meaning to me:

“Love it will not betray, dismay or enslave you, It will set you free to be more like the man you are made to be.”

What goes on around you?

While we go on about doing our chores our mind go either to the past or the future. We think of what we have to do later today / tomorrow or going over something that happened yesterday, very rarely we are present.

So I have been practicing keeping myself present.

This weekend I had a “job” to drop my sister off in one city while she rode a horse to a farm at a city near by, and drive to pick her up at this farm. So I had to drive on a road where aparently nothing happened and had nothing along the way. No cars, no cafes, no people, no bars, “nothing”.

I kept myself as present as I could and noticed all this along the way, My father was also doing the same jurney, but he was driving my uncles car, along the same road, when I showed him the pictures I took he asked where they were from ;)


green field and blue sky{Beautiful blue sky}

Butterfly{Beautiful Butterfly – love when they are around}

purple pink flower{Can you see the flying ant?}

dog{This cute dog staring at me}

small waterfall{Small waterfall hidden in the background}

dream catcher{My Dream catcher with French hydrangea in the background}

road field with French hydrangeas{the dirt road filed with French hydrangeas}

When my dad saw this last picture he realised the images were from the same road he was on :)


A whole new chapter

Waw, it has been a long time I don’t write! I want to start writing again so Tulips and Carnaval is back :D

I used to write about my life in Holland, things I used to do, make, live, etc

Well a lot of things changed since then and the blog might take a different direction, we’ll see, I am excited about it tho :)

Not sure I have followers still so I might be talking to myself here hehehehe

See you on my next post!



I have been living away from home for almost 6 years, missing my friends and family became part of my routine almost, it doesn’t make me cry everyday but I miss them regularly. My sister came to visit me for 2 months, having her around was great! Last thursday she left :( and I miss her more than I thought I would… <3

Saudades Ca!

Good morning, good coffee

Lately this is what makes my morning, coffee. I was never a big fan but somehow I just love it now, maybe it’s my taste bugs changing with age?

Good morning! :)coffee

New acquisition

New acquisition.

Haven’t been spending much lately {not even in a new pair of jeans much-needed after ripping my favorite pair trying to do a yoga pose at a friend’s house – embarrassing!} but I couldn’t resist these little spoons! I think it is a bit obvious that I like flowers, so might also be obvious that I only bought them because the flowers made them irresistible! :)

I bought them and showed them to my boyfriend. very enthusiastic. and he didn’t seem impressed with the spoons – so I said: you didn’t like them? (sad face) He: Natch, I am a boy! Me: aaaaaaah! true – hahahahhaha very good explanation why he wasn’t as excited as i was. It makes me laugh every time I remember it.

Flower spoons